Should I have gotten a BFA?

Recently I've been wondering if I should have gotten my BFA while getting my art education degree. I know what you're thinking - that sounds crazy intense, no way! And it is. I've heard from many classmates (in both my studio and art ed classes) that getting your teaching degree while doing the BFA is one of the most difficult (and even regretful) things they've ever done. So... why am I worrying that I didn't chose this path?

For one, I've heard from a few sources that when applying for art positions in public schools, having a BFA increases your chances of getting hired by a landslide. Well SHOOT, I hope no one with a BFA will be applying for the same positions as me?!

Secondly, I still feel like an art education student, not an artist. Since I was a little girl, I've always wanted to be a teacher. I also always loved art, but I was never too serious about it, even in my AP Portfolio 1&2 classes. It wasn't until coming to college that I really decided that art was where I wanted to be for the rest of my life (in addition to teaching). Although I feel proud of a lot of the work I make and I've taken 10+ studios here at New Paltz, somehow I still have a hard time calling myself an "artist." See, I even had to put the word in quotes! I'm not sure why I have this complex, but I think what it comes down to is that I don't feel confident enough in my skills or my work to really call myself an artist, more just that I am someone who really enjoys making art. Even when people give me positive feedback on a piece of mine, I almost have a hard time believing them, and don't even get me started when I had offers of people wanting to buy some of my paintings! Lastly, I could never see myself choosing to do solely art for the rest of my life instead of education, so what does that say about me? I think if I had chosen to do the BFA in addition to art ed, I think this mentality would have gone away by now. I would feel a lot more confident in my skills and therefore my work, and maybe then I would feel like a "real artist"... whatever that is.

Thirdly, I feel really inferior to the people in my classes who are doing the BFA. Especially those who are also in art ed with me. I feel judged by some people in my class because my work isn't on the same level as theirs, and I feel stupid a lot of the time because of how little I know about ceramics as they do, even though it's my concentration. I have to always remind myself that, at one point, they were all at this level too, and I'm just still learning! :/ It's hard though sometimes, and even a bit discouraging.

But the main reason I regret not doing the BFA is because I know I could do it, and so does my teacher, who has told me so at least twice now! Anat Shiftan, an incredible ceramic artist and a really intimidatingly knowledgeable teacher approached me and asked if I had ever considered applying for a BFA, after only working with and knowing me for 2 or 3 months. I told her my plan of study and where I was at, and why I hadn't even considered applying before - because I never really knew it was an option for me. I didn't take my first ceramics class until the second half of my junior year, and that's when I decided to concentrate in it. Had I known how much I loved ceramics earlier in the picture, I would have absolutely considered the BFA. And now hearing from Anat how I "have the right spirit, and the right attitude to be a great BFA candidate" [ HER WORDS! :') ], along with the reasons above, I kick myself for not doing it in addition to art ed. If only I had taken ceramics earlier and known that the double major was a really great opportunity, where would I be now?

In the end, harping on all of these issues doesn't change the past, I know that. But I still can't help but wonder if I made a mistake with my undergraduate degree, or rather, lack of a second one. I guess I just have to remember that everything happens for a reason.



SIDE NOTE** If you don't know Anat/haven't seen her work, and you have any interest in ceramics... check it out! You won't regret it. (Her website seems to be down for some reason).